mirror, mirror

There's no simpler way to put it... my face looks better backwards.  Now, I'm not one of those girls who completely hates the way they look-- I mean, there are things I'd change about my face and how I smile or how my eyes shaped, but I'm not complaining.  I don't think I'm one of the prettiest girls out there or a jaw-dropper, but I know I'm not ugly.  But there's one thing I hate more than anything: the difference between what your camera says you look like and what your mirror says you look like.  The mirror always wins.  I always find that I think I look prettier via mirror.  I look more awake, prettier, and more like me.... I think?  If you ask me, its pretty weird that we'll never actually get to see what we look like to other people.  Like ever.  And if I look like what I look like in just a straight-up camera photograph, I'm screwed because I always look like a tired zombie.

HI

Let me set you all straight.  I love you all very much, and even if I barely know you or if you're just someone I pass by in the hall at school without realizing it because I'm either zoned out or sleep walking, I still think you are super cool.  Buuuut I don't care what you think.  Well, of course I care what you think, but I just don't care if you're sitting there judging me right now for having my own blog or posting about whatever's on my mind.  I don't care if you think its lame or is just for attention.  I don't care if you think what I have to say is stupid or self-centered or whatever your problem is with me or me having a blog.  I'm sorry that I like blogging and that I can speak my mind and I'm not scared of what people think or have to say about me.  Like good 'ol Dr. Seuss puts it: Be yourself and say how you feel, because the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter, don't mind.  I'm not worried about having in impress anyone or to live up to anyone's standards.  I'm me, and that's that so if you're reading this you'll have to deal cause this is Caroline and I'm real.  None of that fake-ness stuff that's way too common in the world we live in today.  I'm not trying to be rude right now, but I just wanted to make it clear that this is me being me so you can feel free to judge me, but I don't care....

Sorry, I'm really sassy.

relevance

So you know when there's that one song that seems to be really relevant to your life?  Yeah, well right now I have a bunch.  Here's a list:

• Breakaway- Kelly Clarkson
• Independence- The Band Perry
• I Can't Be Tamed- Miley Cyrus
• Wide Open Spaces- The Dixie Chicks
• A Place in this World- Taylor Swift

Weird list right?  Let me explain.

Breakaway is about a girl who feels so discontent with her life and just wants to get away from everything.  She knows that her life is good but she knows there's so much more out there for her and she has to take a risk to discover what she feels she's being held back from.  I know it sounds so incredibly lame but I kind of feel the same.  Like I know I've been blessed with an amazing life, but I feel like there's so much more potential out there for me in the world and I'm just being held back.  I want to go and discover myself and get away from everything and everyone holding me back.  The song also kind of resonates with the whole leaving home after graduating high school thing.  I also just really like the song.

Independence has to be one of my favorite songs at the moment.  Its one of the Band Perry's songs that isn't really well known, but I think it's their best-- especially the Oceanway Studios version.  The song is about the anticipation of waiting for independence, and that for me is graduating high school, going to Europe, and then going to college on the other side of the country.  Its about needing to feel free, which I really crave.  I'd have to say my favorite lyric is: Some say I'm crazy, a little loco but most of my friends will live and die in this zip code.  It might be for me but how am I supposed to know until i go?  My thoughts are the exact same.  How am I supposed to know what I'm supposed to do with my life until I just go out there and go?  And of course, people look at me like I'm crazy for just wanting to go without plans or whatever, but isn't that all apart of learning to be independent?  

Can't Be Tamed is by far the weirdest most out of place song on this list, but I have a really odd connection to it right now.  I've given up on guys for right now because like Miley says: I go through guys like money flyin' out the hands, they try to change me but they realize they can't and every tomorrow is a day I never plan if you gonna be my man understand I can't be tamed.  I'm done with guys, or anyone else for that matter, trying to change me and telling me what's best for me.  I can worry about me and do my own thing.  Like she says: I wanna fly, I wanna drive, I wanna go.  I wanna be a part of something I don't know and if you try to hold me back, I might explode.  Baby, by now you should know I can't be tamed.  I can't be tamed.  I'm going to be Caroline and that's that.  

Wide Open Spaces is so so beautiful and I could listen to it on repeat for days.  Like the Dixie Chicks got it spot on, the opening lyrics are pure perfection.  The song is basically about needing new places and faces and just a breath of fresh air which are basically all things I need.  I just need new.  The song is just about the journey of needing newness.  I just need newness, and like the Dixie Chicks, I know the highest stakes of just going out and finding that newness.  But I'm okay with that.

A Place in this World by Taylor Swift.  An oldie but a goody.  I don't know what I want so don't ask me, 'Cause I'm still trying to figure it out.  I don't know what's down this road, I'm just walking.  <<Lyrics that describe my wonderful teenage emotions perfectly.  While everyone else in my entire world is out there planning every last waking minute of their lives, I'm just walking.  I honestly have no intentions of planning one bit of what happens in 2012, which is scary but kinda just how it is.  I'll be strong, I'll be wrong oh but life goes on.  Yep.

So to basically we all have songs that feel like they were written to us.  Some, like me, have a lot.  After writing all this down, it seems like I have this weird obsession with being independent and free and the future.  All things that have been on my mind lately, so I should've seen it coming.  Anyways, these are just my thoughts.

"new year, new me"

Words cannot describe how much I hate it when people say "New year, new me" at the beginning of the new year.  It's like, no, just because its now 2012 it does not mean you are a new person.  You just don't get a restart every time we go into a new year.  And yes, I am guilty of saying the dreaded phrase myself, but now I'm realized that just because its a new year doesn't mean that anything changes.  I'm the same person I was like two weeks ago-- nothing has changed; there's nothing different about me now that its 2012.  I understand how the new year can inspire people to change and marks the start to beginning new goals and whatnot but still.  Its great but it still doesn't change how much I hate the stupid saying.  It just doesn't make sense to me!  Nothing is new about you!  You're the exact same person you were five days ago!  So people, please stop saying it, just make New Year's resolutions and become someone new.  Just because its the new year doesn't mean you're renewed-- sorry!  And speaking of New Year's resolutions... I should probably come up with a couple....